Roaming Rolfe's: 2009

This year I found, and altered, a 12 days of Christmas poem and came up with a gift for each day and sent it to someone special, whom I don't think will read this. (She is to busy!) I thought I would share this with you all for a fun gift idea, BUT if you find yourself getting this package next year- you better be surprised and happy!!!

The 12 days of Christmas is the song that we sing And in this sack 12 presents we bring.December the 13th is when you may start.Unwrap one a day with love from our heart.Having you as a grandmother is a dream come true,This is our way of wishing Merry Christmas to you!

1. A partridge in a pear tree
How boring is that!
Your tree is much prettier:
Tinsel, glitter and gift wrap,
On this ornament is your name,
Hang it on a branch for instant fame.

2. Two turtle doves are very rare
And nowhere could we find a pair.
But Dove chocolate is pretty yummy,
And a turtle massager for your tummy.

3. We did get French hens,
But then hungry we got.
So we ended up cooking them
In a great big pot
So three fine pens will have to do,
With pictures of us just for you!

4. Four calling birds…
When calling birds cackle
Their mouths get all dry
Their lips start to crackle
So give this a try!

5. Five golden rings
That's rather extreme.
We love you dearly,
But that much money's a dream!
Five golden rings?
What could we do?
Friends are golden,
As we;re sure you've been told,
And they're your lifesavers
When you're young or old.
So five flavors of lifesaver gummies is better than rings.
Whew we got out of that one!
We’re getting good at these things.

6. Six geese a laying
* Sigh * We're back to those birds!
We tried stealing their eggs
But their cries could be heard.
So we gave up and went to the store.
These eggs won't hatch
But don't drop them on the floor.

7. Seven swans swimming
The swans were still swimming in water so clear
It sparkled and shimmered,
we shed not a tear
Instead we felt thirsty,
a drink would be nice
Add to some water,
now you just need some ice!

8. Eight maids a milking
Silly women don't they know
Milk comes from a store.
Geez they are slow!
But at the shop
Milk bottles were sold out
The cows were all duds
So you get Milk Duds
Stuffed into this sack.

9. Nine ladies dancing,
they put on a show
Their feet got so tired,
so wouldn't you know
We’re sending some slippers for soothing your feet
They're comfy and cozy and all wrapped up neat!

10. Ten lords leaping,
Wonder if they could reach the stars?
They jumped higher than these frogs
That we caught in some jars.
Some people think frogs
Are princes in disguise,
So maybe the lords were protected them
As they leapt for the skies.

11. Eleven pipers were piping,
What a wonderful sight,
'Cause they blew bubbles
And watched them take flight.
So here are some bubbles so you can play, too.
We thought eleven seemed greedy
So we’re sending you just two.

12. Twelve drummers drumming
Oh, how they're hurting our heads.
They gave us such a headache
We had to go to bed.
Music should be soothing
A listening pleasure
So here's a CD
For you to treasure.

I also did a Redneck 12 Days of Christmas for a wonderful guy in our lives! The song is by Jeff Foxworthy for all you non rednecks!

12 days redneck christmas
Wow, somebody done gone been to the WalMart!Man, this is the stuff I got for Christmas.Well you cleaned up! Whadya git?
December the 13th is when you may start.Unwrap one a day with love from our heart.Having you as our papa is a dream come true,This is our way of wishing Merry Christmas to you!

1. Some parts to a mustang GT…
We looked into prices
But they were so high
This is all we could buy.

2. Two hunting dogs…
Dogs are really fun and all
But they are lots of work
So how about a pair of mittens
Since we know you don’t like kittens.

3. Three shot gun shells…
We didn’t think you needed
But with an idea we proceeded
To make these ornaments
For you to enjoy!
Sure glad we succeeded!

4. Four big mud tires…
Are kinda out of season
With all the snow we could only reason
Four snow tires it should be
In the box and off to thee
They would not go
Donuts appear to be covered in snow
So off they shall go!

5. Five flannel shirts…
From your little squirts!

6. Six cans of spam…
You have better taste
So how about six bags of jerky,
We knew you wouldn’t let go to waste!

7. Seven packs of Redman…
We thought was rather gross!
Seven packs of Big Red
We thought was awfully close!

8. Eight table dancers…
That sounds kinda scary
Their feet must be awful weary
Some warm slippers, maybe a little hairy
But they will make your feet feel nice and merry!

9. Nine years probation…
Nothing you really need
How about one year
Subscription to ‘American Rifleman’

10. Ten o’ Copenhagen…
What a nasty habit
But together we got it!
A ‘Tin’ o’ Flipz!

11.Eleven Wrastling tickets…
Would be lots of fun
But try as we might
None where in sight
But a movie sounded right
To keep up the fun!

12. Twelve pack a bud…
Does not sound good at all!
Its so cold outside
It was hard to decide
But we thought cocoa,
Would warm up your insides!

Man, this ain't normal Christmas presents!No, they're redneck gifts!Redneck gifts?Yea, you know, like if you buy your wife earrings that double as fishing lures.Or, if you can burp the entire chorus of "Jingle Bells"Perhaps if you think "The Nutcracker" is something you did off a high-dive.Or, if you've ever misspelled something in Christmas lights.Or, if you leave cold beer and pickled eggs for Santa Claus.

Enjoy a Redneck Christmas!

So as you can see, we had fun this year!!! But watch out you could be next years pick!!!